Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your cock deserves a montage
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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