He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
