I just threw up on my dentist
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
