you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
