just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
