Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
