So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
