i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
where are my eyebrows?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
