Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
