my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
