I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
