wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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