why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
