She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sext me about skeletons
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
