is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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