I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
