Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
