i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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