he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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