But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
