I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
