we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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