I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
