Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
