ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
