If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
