So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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