Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
