She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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