i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
