called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
