how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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