Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
