Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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