Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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