five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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