he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
be right there i have to get my cape
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
