woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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