I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
