never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
