Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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