even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
