You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
