I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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