I want to walk on stilts...naked
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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