I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
