I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
