I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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