and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
