I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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